Skip to main content
Subscribe
  • Sign Up Free
  • Login
  • Subscribe
  • News
    • Current News
    • Providers
    • Insurance
    • Government
    • Finance
    • Technology
    • Safety & Quality
    • Digital Health
    • Transformation
    • ESG
    • People
    • Regional News
    • Digital Edition (Web Version)
    • Patients
    • Operations
    • Care Delivery
    • Payment
    • Midwest
    • Northeast
    • South
    • West
  • Blogs
    • AI
    • Deals
    • Layoff Tracker
    • HIMSS 2023
  • Opinion
    • Breaking Bias
    • Commentaries
    • Letters
    • From the Editor
  • Events & Awards
    • Awards
    • Conferences
    • Galas
    • Virtual Briefings
    • Webinars
    • Nominate/Eligibility
    • 100 Most Influential People
    • 50 Most Influential Clinical Executives
    • Best Places to Work in Healthcare
    • Excellence in Governance
    • Health Care Hall of Fame
    • Healthcare Marketing Impact Awards
    • Top 25 Emerging Leaders
    • Top Innovators
    • Diversity in Healthcare
      • - Luminaries
      • - Top 25 Diversity Leaders
      • - Leaders to Watch
    • Women in Healthcare
      • - Luminaries
      • - Top 25 Women Leaders
      • - Women to Watch
    • Digital Health Transformation Summit
    • ESG: The Implementation Imperative Summit
    • Leadership Symposium
    • Social Determinants of Health Symposium
    • Women Leaders in Healthcare Conference
    • Best Places to Work Awards Gala
    • Health Care Hall of Fame Gala
    • Top 25 Diversity Leaders Gala
    • Top 25 Women Leaders Gala
    • - Hospital of the Future
    • - Value Based Care
    • - Hospital at Home
    • - Workplace of the Future
    • - AI and Digital Health
    • - Future of Staffing
    • - Hospital of the Future (Fall)
  • Multimedia
    • Podcast - Beyond the Byline
    • Sponsored Podcast - Healthcare Insider
    • Sponsored Video Series - One on One
    • Sponsored Video Series - Checking In with Dan Peres
  • Data & Insights
    • Data & Insights Home
    • Hospital Financials
    • Staffing & Compensation
    • Quality & Safety
    • Mergers & Acquisitions
    • Data Archive
    • Resource Guide: By the Numbers
    • Surveys
    • Data Points
  • Newsletters
  • MORE+
    • Contact Us
    • Advertise
    • Media Kit
    • Jobs
    • People on the Move
    • Reprints & Licensing
MENU
Breadcrumb
  1. Home
  2. Safety & Quality
August 22, 2020 11:05 AM

Miami ICU nurse: I have never in my life seen so many deaths

Associated Press
  • Tweet
  • Share
  • Share
  • Email
  • More
    Reprints Print
    Modern Healthcare Illustration / Getty Images

    Their final breaths are tormented. Rublas Ruiz has seen too many of them—the last gasps of 17 men and women who died of the coronavirus.

    A 41-year-old ICU nurse in Miami's Kendall Regional Medical Center, Ruiz has witnessed the desperate, pleading, wide-eyed, barely there gasps.

    "The fear in their eyes when they can't get enough air. They are so scared," he says, quietly. "Their eyes are big, desperate to get the oxygen and that makes me so sad."

    He sits on their bed, grasps their hand, strokes their cheek and prays. Anything to soothe them.

    "I know you cannot talk, but I'm going to talk to you," he tell them. "You have to be positive, you have to have faith that God is going to get you out of this."

    Often, he ducks away to sob in the bathroom. It is a rare moment alone, when he can cast off the brave countenance.

    Then he splashes water on his face and returns to the floor that has been his work home since March. While other nurses rotate in and out of the COVID-19 ICU unit to limit their exposure to the deadly virus, he's asked to stay permanently.

    It's his calling.

    "I'm here for them. This is what I was meant to do," says Ruiz.

    "Many nurses have left. They don't want to deal with it, they're afraid, they're scared, they see other people getting infected."

    Miami-Dade County has been the epicenter of the state's outbreak with about 2,000 deaths since March—more than 20 percent of the state's total. As Florida cases skyrocketed this summer, Miami hospitals were especially overloaded in the second half of July.

    For Ruiz, his routine is the same every day. He prays in the car on the way to the hospital: "Dear God, this is your day, put me in your hands and help me do what you want me to do. This is your creation and let me help you out."

    Then, he says, "I take a deep breath when I get out of the car and go to battle."

    As many as 10 patients have died in his ward in a single week.

    At one point, he started counting, "and then I stopped doing that because there were so many."

    Right now, he can't stop thinking about the 45-year-old father who has been intubated for more than two weeks, "seeing this young guy almost my age, just four years older than me ..."

    His voice trails off. "We know he's not going to make it."

    The hardest part is watching them die alone.

    Playing the role of family has become almost more important than his nursing responsibilities. He tried to distract an elderly patient from searching for virus treatments on the Internet by asking him questions about his work as an inspector for the Department of Motor Vehicles.

    Ruiz could sense the retired man's fear: "He was looking really, really sad and then that also made me cry that day." His condition deteriorated in less than a week, and he died.

    He tries to connect patients with loved ones as much as possible through video chats. But ultimately, he's the one bearing witness to their final breaths.

    "I have never seen in my life so many deaths, in a week or a month," he says. "The room gets empty and another patient comes in."

    On the way home, he can't stop thinking about the patients he left behind. Will he see them tomorrow?

    He steps into a makeshift changing room in the garage, removes his hospital scrubs and heads straight to the shower, praying he doesn't infect his wife and 10-year-old daughter. He tries not to think about that. It's too much to bear.

    The tween is dejected, isolated from friends, missing school and deeply disappointed the over the cancellation of an Ariana Grande concert that would have been the highlight of her year.

    Ruiz tries hard to separate his grim work when he's home, but it seeps in. He relies heavily on the positive energy of his wife of six years, Yaneth.

    "He has been quite depressed," she says. "We have good communication. I try to listen to him. I know he's stressed."

    His wife lost her job as a hairdresser so Rublas takes extra shifts to make up for their lost income. The family has taken up fishing as a hobby, casting their reels off a bridge, catching snapper and enjoying the peace of being outside and together.

    Back in April, Yaneth prepared a special birthday dinner for him at home. But when he sat at the table, the thought of losing so many patients overwhelmed him. And he broke down in tears.

    Letter
    to the
    Editor

    Send us a letter

    Have an opinion about this story? Click here to submit a Letter to the Editor, and we may publish it in print.

    Recommended for You
    QUALITY OFFICER
    NCQA health plan quality ratings include new equity measure
    Hospital with money
    More hospitals to be charged readmissions penalties: CMS
    Most Popular
    1
    Centene to lay off 2,000 workers
    2
    How health systems are battling price-gouging allegations
    3
    Senate advances bill to temporarily aid hospitals, health centers
    4
    Elevance, Blue Cross Louisiana halt $2.5B proposed deal
    5
    Tower Health to sell urgent care centers, close others
    Sponsored Content
    Get Newsletters

    Sign up for enewsletters and alerts to receive breaking news and in-depth coverage of healthcare events and trends, as they happen, right to your inbox.

    Subscribe Today
    MH Magazine Cover

    MH magazine offers content that sheds light on healthcare leaders’ complex choices and touch points—from strategy, governance, leadership development and finance to operations, clinical care, and marketing.

    Subscribe
    Connect with Us
    • LinkedIn
    • Twitter
    • Facebook
    • RSS

    Our Mission

    Modern Healthcare empowers industry leaders to succeed by providing unbiased reporting of the news, insights, analysis and data.

    Contact Us

    (877) 812-1581

    Email us

     

    Resources
    • Contact Us
    • Help Center
    • Advertise with Us
    • Ad Choices
    • Sitemap
    Editorial Dept
    • Submission Guidelines
    • Code of Ethics
    • Awards
    • About Us
    Legal
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Privacy Policy
    • Privacy Request
    Modern Healthcare
    Copyright © 1996-2023. Crain Communications, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
    • News
      • Current News
      • Providers
      • Insurance
      • Government
      • Finance
      • Technology
      • Safety & Quality
      • Digital Health
      • Transformation
        • Patients
        • Operations
        • Care Delivery
        • Payment
      • ESG
      • People
      • Regional News
        • Midwest
        • Northeast
        • South
        • West
      • Digital Edition (Web Version)
    • Blogs
      • AI
      • Deals
      • Layoff Tracker
      • HIMSS 2023
    • Opinion
      • Breaking Bias
      • Commentaries
      • Letters
      • From the Editor
    • Events & Awards
      • Awards
        • Nominate/Eligibility
        • 100 Most Influential People
        • 50 Most Influential Clinical Executives
        • Best Places to Work in Healthcare
        • Excellence in Governance
        • Health Care Hall of Fame
        • Healthcare Marketing Impact Awards
        • Top 25 Emerging Leaders
        • Top Innovators
        • Diversity in Healthcare
          • - Luminaries
          • - Top 25 Diversity Leaders
          • - Leaders to Watch
        • Women in Healthcare
          • - Luminaries
          • - Top 25 Women Leaders
          • - Women to Watch
      • Conferences
        • Digital Health Transformation Summit
        • ESG: The Implementation Imperative Summit
        • Leadership Symposium
        • Social Determinants of Health Symposium
        • Women Leaders in Healthcare Conference
      • Galas
        • Best Places to Work Awards Gala
        • Health Care Hall of Fame Gala
        • Top 25 Diversity Leaders Gala
        • Top 25 Women Leaders Gala
      • Virtual Briefings
        • - Hospital of the Future
        • - Value Based Care
        • - Hospital at Home
        • - Workplace of the Future
        • - AI and Digital Health
        • - Future of Staffing
        • - Hospital of the Future (Fall)
      • Webinars
    • Multimedia
      • Podcast - Beyond the Byline
      • Sponsored Podcast - Healthcare Insider
      • Sponsored Video Series - One on One
      • Sponsored Video Series - Checking In with Dan Peres
    • Data & Insights
      • Data & Insights Home
      • Hospital Financials
      • Staffing & Compensation
      • Quality & Safety
      • Mergers & Acquisitions
      • Data Archive
      • Resource Guide: By the Numbers
      • Surveys
      • Data Points
    • Newsletters
    • MORE+
      • Contact Us
      • Advertise
      • Media Kit
      • Jobs
      • People on the Move
      • Reprints & Licensing