Low patient volumes got you feeling blue? Tired of the nagging suspicion that your personal idiosyncrasies are being caused by repressed memories from a past life?
Afraid of clowns? (As we all know, that's coulrophobia.)
Whatever your problem, New York hypnotherapist Steve G. Jones says he's ready to unleash the secrets of self-hypnosis that have long been used in personal sessions with such D-list celebrities as “Partridge Family” star Danny Bonaduce and Tom Mankiewicz, the (uncredited) writer of the 1978 major motion picture “Superman.”
“Self-hypnosis can be a tool in your bag of tricks therefore helping you change your current situation, whatever that situation may be,” Jones says in a news release sent directly to Outliers like a psychic news-missile careering through the cosmos and landing directly in our inbox, as if Jones' PR firm understood deadline-crushing pressures through some mystical clairvoyance.
Wait, is there a CD to cure purple prose? Outliers may need one.
The aforementioned clown-phobia CD can be yours for a mere $29.95 plus shipping, as can recordings on self-guided hypnosis for various hum-drum topics like weight loss, increasing personal wealth and anger management. Also available are recordings on handling post-surgical healing, reversing aging, avoiding unwanted hair growth, discovering improved eyesight, mastering astral projection and ESP, and overcoming your fear of frogs.
Ribbit.