One of the nation’s leading medical journals, that Wall Street one, recently put its finger on a phenomenon that has been helping to keep hospital emergency departments busy in the mornings: the BRI—or “bagel-related injury.”
The WSJ cites statistics from the National Electronic Injury Surveillance System that found any way you slice it, chicken is the most dangerous of foods, and was responsible for 3,463 ED visits in 2008. Bagels, however, were still a hazard and BRIs were responsible for 1,979 ED visits in 2008. (Outliers can’t help but note that it would be somewhat symmetrically cosmic if BRIs also resulted in 2,008 injuries in 1979.) Pumpkins were to blame for 1,195 ED visits and wedding cakes, fewer than 100.
The article mentions a device called the Brooklyn Bagel Slicer developed by radiologist Dennis Moss, but suggests the best-selling anti-BRI device is the Bagel Guillotine, invented by a Rick Ricard, a carpenter of French-Canadian descent. While not a man of medicine himself, Ricard’s invention was influenced by one: Joseph-Ignace Guillotin, a physician who invented the beheading device that bears his name.